Valentines and Virtues

SWEETHEART

To be frank with
you I have
no word strong
enough to
show how I feel
about you

Now, imagine this poem written on a bright orange piece of paper
attached to a lime green teletubby-like little guy with a plastic
velvety rose coming out of his back. This was my valentine from
Terry, purchased at the Valentine Love Centre in downtown Kakamega for
200 shillings. I love this town.

I was walking home yesterday from town with Caroline, a young woman I
met at the Virtues Project training, and her brother Tony. I asked
Tony if he had a valentine to which he answered, "Of course." When I
asked if he was going to buy her flowers, he said in Kakamega if you
give a girl flowers she will wonder why you have given her something
useless that will only wilt in a day. If you give her something
useful like a dress or a pair of shoes, she will remember you forever.
So who is buying all these teletubbies then? Kenya continues to
baffle me.

I tagged along with Patricia Crossley yesterday (from Victoria, living
in Kenya for 6 months a year for the past 10 years or so) to sit in on
her Virtues Project training for teachers. The Virtues Project was
started by a Bahai woman from Saltspring Island in BC and has since
been sanctioned by the UN as a model program for families of all
cultures. The Virtues Program is being offered to educators,
counsellors, social workers and youth leaders to awaken their young
people to their innate spirituality and qualities of good character.
The Virtues are described as the qualities of God that can be and are
reflected in each of us. The training yesterday was the first of two
days to about 30 teachers.

We had quite a drive out to the village where the training would take
place. There was Patricia and myself as well as Caroline, who works
for Patricia as a teacher in her computer training school, Florence, a
recently retired principal, and Bibianna, the only elected female city
counsellor in Kakamega. I had a hunch I should where a skirt to this
event and I chose correctly. The women were all dressed to the nines
– suits of turquoise, burgundy and purple. My favourite was
Caroline's iridescent full length gown and white shoes – she makes all
her own clothes. The women put scarves over their head to protect
their hair from the dust.

We arrived at the church after about an hours drive over every kind of
road imaginable – smooth highway (built by the Chinese, no one know
why as this road doesn't really go anywhere), paved road spotted with
potholes, huge invisible speedbumps (we were tossed around quite
violently a couple times when Patricia forgot about the speedbumps –
they are not painted or signed), dusty dirt roads and the final road
that looked more like a riverbed (we got out and walked this last
part). The teachers had been told to arrive at 8:00am for the
training – we arrived at 8:45am and the first participant came around
9:30am. The church has an orphans feeding program on Saturdays, so
the grounds were filled with children singing and playing. Some of
the boys helped us rearrange the pews in the church in a U-shape so
everyone could see the screen. Patricia had all her high tech gear
(screen, powerpoint, projector, etc.). The children were gathered
around the windows of the church because they wanted to see the
'cinema'.

Eventually shortly after 10:00am the training got underway with
latecomers trickling in until noon or so. The material seems quite
basic from a western perspective, but it is revolutionary to African
schools where caning is still a common disciplinary practice.
Patricia assured the teachers that this training would not require any
additional marking and can be used in their current curriculum. She
also stressed that this was a disciplinary model and does not mean
that you allow children to run wild or do whatever they want. It
does, however, ask for a new way of approaching children and others
whereby the entry point is always on the positive side.

Quite a bit of time was spent discussing how shaming a child
undermines the virtues and hardens the heart. A story was told of a
child that was accused of stealing. He was made to wear a sign around
his neck that read, "Beware I am a thief." This is the kind of
behaviour the Virtues is trying to address.

This was day one of a two day training. The second day will be in two
weeks and I think I will attend. Most of the day was spent with the
facilitator reading from the power point (Patricia is training new
Kenyan facilitators) and there was very little participation. At the
end of the day, a few people stood to give thanks for what they are
learning. Everyone was given homework of virtues to practice and to
acknowledge someone they have never acknowledged before for small
progress – especially a most difficult student. I am looking forward
to hearing from those who do their homework.

The Virtues Project is not an NGO – it is run completely by volunteers
and is offered free of charge.